paranoid android

sooner or later

hirol — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 19:44:09 +0000

Closure. Done. Checked.
Goodbye 2011. It was tumoltuous.
As I crossed into 2012, I, just like anyone out there, can only hope for more goodness to come.
I’m usually an optimist, but there are too much going on for me for me to keep looking at only the bright side of things.
But I know these are just difficult times. It will end eventually. I’ll get what I want sooner or later.
The new year ironically started in silence and isolation.
It gave me much needed tranquility, and some clarity.
Probably, that’s what 2012 will be all about.

A Short Story – We Found Love in Hopeless MRT

hirol — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 08:10:30 +0000

A Short Story – We Found Love in Hopeless MRT. (begin)
1 Andrew texted me to remind me about our meet at 6.30pm at ION.
2 I ran down the escalators believing I might be late.
3 The screen at Dhoby Ghaut says next train departing in 5 minutes. Damn.
4 Sandwiched between an Indian lady and a man in his 40s, I managed to text Andrew informing him I’ll be late.
5 He’s pissed. He’s leaving. We are not meeting after all. Fine.
6 I knew right from the beginning things won’t work out between us. Maybe it’s over now.
7 I put on Florence and the Machine. My Whatsapp to Daryl is not sending out. Poor 3G reception. I need to talk to my buddy now.
8 The train came to a halt somewhere between Somerset and Orchard.
9 I can’t text Daryl! Andrew decided to walk out of me today. WTF is happening.
10 The lights went out. Track 4 Never Let Me Go is playing. I’ve been in here for 15 minutes. What’s going on?
11 The lights came back on. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned.
12 ‘Hey Andy, remember me?’, he said. ‘You are?’.
13 ‘Benson! 2 years ago. We were coursemate in NUS. We were from the same Law class. We spoked only once’.
14 ‘Yes I barely recall now. You were the quiet one. What are you up to now? Looking good!’
15 ‘I’m working. Lab assistance. GSK. You? Do you still club? Been awhile huh?’
16 ‘Yeah! Been 2 years! I hardly club anymore, busy with work. I’m in advertising. With Grey.’
17 People were fanning and frowning. The Indian lady squatted on the floor. She must have been tired. We started chatting.
18 I used to have an eye for Benson. He’s the sweet quiet boy. I didn’t dare to talk to him back then though. I guess we were both shy.
19 Saw him at Tantric once after my last Consumer Behaviour paper. That’s the only time we spoke. He was supposed to go for exchange the following sem.
20 Since then we never keep in touch. Not even on Facebook. He was just one of those fleeting episodes of my uni life. Forgetable.
21 Someone from the other carriage shouted and that interrupted our conversation. There was a commotion. The time showed 7.48pm.
22 Sweat trickled down my temple. My shirt was wet. Benson offered me tissues. Next thing I knew, we were walkin on the tracks.
23 He shared with me stories about his stint in Sweden. He told me he broke up with his Finnish partner 3 months ago.
24 We reached Orchard station. It was chaotic. I saw a Caucasian girl crying. Benson walked me to the gantries.
25 He had to rush to a birthday dinner. ‘You know I’m glad to bump into you today. I always remember you as that interesting one from class’.
26 That was the last thing Benson said. We said our goodbyes. I called Daryl. He’s at Tangs. I need to talk to him.
27 I remember giving Benson my number but I forgot to save his. Damn. He hasn’t text me ever since. I’m waiting.
(end)

please

hirol — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:39:00 +0000

Lay a whisper
On my pillow
Leave the winter
On the ground
I wake up lonely
There’s air of silence
In the bedroom
And all around

Can someone tell me that tomorrow’s going to be better than today, better than yesterday?
Never am I the pessimist but toughing it on takes courage and strength.
Please reassure me.
Please.

purpose

hirol — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:44:39 +0000

They both share a purpose, in the form of the tiny business they both own.

They both share a purpose, in the form of that cute little newborn.

They both share a purpose, in the form of the home and livelihood that only they both, share.

Who are you going to share your purpose with? What’s your common purpose?

Transcendence

hirol — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:29:19 +0000

We set purposes in life.
To learn.
To seek.
To grow.
To expand.
For betterment.
For fulfillment.

We set markers.
In others.
In situations.

We create our own challeges. Hence our own worries. We are envious. We are wanting.

Let our soul search, let our body explores.

Transcendence, the purpose.

Remember to dance

ghost

hirol — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 17:27:37 +0000

We are the cause of our miserable expectations. We ourselves set the limit, pushing the markers of our ideal perfection further and further.

But life is about moving forward, improving. Not staying fixed, contented.

Then again, what if it absorbs and consume us?

quiet hopes

hirol — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 14:47:18 +0000

They are things which I’m always certain about.
Months passed and seasons changed, the heart is fixed and the mind is sure, how can it ever be questioned?
But some might say it’s stubborness clouded under the veil of foolish optimism.
Or blinded obsession, but can anyone ever see it?
This certainty will never kill me, unless it kills itself, which I’ll try again and again to save, again and again, again and again.

so i’ve learned to listen through silence

walk on again

hirol — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 16:22:15 +0000

we walk this long wide path called life
we shift our course, change our speed
encountered new places, saw new sceneries, met new faces
they fill us up
with rations and lessons
for us to continue this walk

Last I wrote was May 31st, 2010.
Such a waste I didn’t document my thoughts from then till now.
For many things have happened.
Still, never too late for me to start again.

happy holidays

hirol — Mon, 31 May 2010 02:57:15 +0000

the long weekend, friendship was brought to a new level

more good days to come.

stranger

hirol — Tue, 25 May 2010 06:34:18 +0000

hey there stranger
i don’t even know your last name
will you come back?

don’t blame me,
i’ve had it worst,
but i swallowed it all.
at the end of it, we lose
and so i try to be numb