January 2, 2012
Closure. Done. Checked.
Goodbye 2011. It was tumoltuous.
As I crossed into 2012, I, just like anyone out there, can only hope for more goodness to come.
I’m usually an optimist, but there are too much going on for me for me to keep looking at only the bright side of things.
But I know these are just difficult times. It will end eventually. I’ll get what I want sooner or later.
The new year ironically started in silence and isolation.
It gave me much needed tranquility, and some clarity.
Probably, that’s what 2012 will be all about.
December 16, 2011
A Short Story – We Found Love in Hopeless MRT. (begin)
1 Andrew texted me to remind me about our meet at 6.30pm at ION.
2 I ran down the escalators believing I might be late.
3 The screen at Dhoby Ghaut says next train departing in 5 minutes. Damn.
4 Sandwiched between an Indian lady and a man in his 40s, I managed to text Andrew informing him I’ll be late.
5 He’s pissed. He’s leaving. We are not meeting after all. Fine.
6 I knew right from the beginning things won’t work out between us. Maybe it’s over now.
7 I put on Florence and the Machine. My Whatsapp to Daryl is not sending out. Poor 3G reception. I need to talk to my buddy now.
8 The train came to a halt somewhere between Somerset and Orchard.
9 I can’t text Daryl! Andrew decided to walk out of me today. WTF is happening.
10 The lights went out. Track 4 Never Let Me Go is playing. I’ve been in here for 15 minutes. What’s going on?
11 The lights came back on. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned.
12 ‘Hey Andy, remember me?’, he said. ‘You are?’.
13 ‘Benson! 2 years ago. We were coursemate in NUS. We were from the same Law class. We spoked only once’.
14 ‘Yes I barely recall now. You were the quiet one. What are you up to now? Looking good!’
15 ‘I’m working. Lab assistance. GSK. You? Do you still club? Been awhile huh?’
16 ‘Yeah! Been 2 years! I hardly club anymore, busy with work. I’m in advertising. With Grey.’
17 People were fanning and frowning. The Indian lady squatted on the floor. She must have been tired. We started chatting.
18 I used to have an eye for Benson. He’s the sweet quiet boy. I didn’t dare to talk to him back then though. I guess we were both shy.
19 Saw him at Tantric once after my last Consumer Behaviour paper. That’s the only time we spoke. He was supposed to go for exchange the following sem.
20 Since then we never keep in touch. Not even on Facebook. He was just one of those fleeting episodes of my uni life. Forgetable.
21 Someone from the other carriage shouted and that interrupted our conversation. There was a commotion. The time showed 7.48pm.
22 Sweat trickled down my temple. My shirt was wet. Benson offered me tissues. Next thing I knew, we were walkin on the tracks.
23 He shared with me stories about his stint in Sweden. He told me he broke up with his Finnish partner 3 months ago.
24 We reached Orchard station. It was chaotic. I saw a Caucasian girl crying. Benson walked me to the gantries.
25 He had to rush to a birthday dinner. ‘You know I’m glad to bump into you today. I always remember you as that interesting one from class’.
26 That was the last thing Benson said. We said our goodbyes. I called Daryl. He’s at Tangs. I need to talk to him.
27 I remember giving Benson my number but I forgot to save his. Damn. He hasn’t text me ever since. I’m waiting. 😦
October 18, 2011
Lay a whisper
On my pillow
Leave the winter
On the ground
I wake up lonely
There’s air of silence
In the bedroom
And all around
Can someone tell me that tomorrow’s going to be better than today, better than yesterday?
Never am I the pessimist but toughing it on takes courage and strength.
Please reassure me.
October 15, 2011
They both share a purpose, in the form of the tiny business they both own.
They both share a purpose, in the form of that cute little newborn.
They both share a purpose, in the form of the home and livelihood that only they both, share.
Who are you going to share your purpose with? What’s your common purpose?
October 15, 2011
We set purposes in life.
We set markers.
We create our own challeges. Hence our own worries. We are envious. We are wanting.
Let our soul search, let our body explores.
Transcendence, the purpose.
Remember to dance
October 11, 2011
We are the cause of our miserable expectations. We ourselves set the limit, pushing the markers of our ideal perfection further and further.
But life is about moving forward, improving. Not staying fixed, contented.
Then again, what if it absorbs and consume us?
August 15, 2011
They are things which I’m always certain about.
Months passed and seasons changed, the heart is fixed and the mind is sure, how can it ever be questioned?
But some might say it’s stubborness clouded under the veil of foolish optimism.
Or blinded obsession, but can anyone ever see it?
This certainty will never kill me, unless it kills itself, which I’ll try again and again to save, again and again, again and again.
so i’ve learned to listen through silence